Build an Ethical Wardrobe: Finding Your Personal Style (and what it has to do with an ethical wardrobe)
I have this black strappy dress. It is gorgeous. Falls to just below my knees and shows enough cleavage to be just the right amount of sexy. It has thin spaghetti straps and dips pretty low in the back. It is stunning. And I feel amazing in it.
I have never worn it. Not once.
Why? Because, even though I absolutely love it, it doesn’t fit. It doesn’t fit my lifestyle or my activities. And, 9 months postpartum, it doesn’t fit my body either. When would I wear this? No idea.
Why am I telling you this? Besides admitting that I too fall victim to the “must haves” and “I loves,” and even the “it’s on sale!” when shopping, I am telling you this to illustrate a point.
It doesn’t matter how ethical it is if you never wear it.
This gorgeous black dress does not fit my personal style. At least not today. So, it isn’t getting worn. I am not ready to part with it and give it a new better home. I know I should, I just can’t. There is this feeling of “someday…” So, it hangs there, with the tag still on it. Quite possibly the least ethical part of my wardrobe. Why? Because I am not wearing it. The resources and work that went into it are wasted.
What Finding Your Personal Style Has To Do With An Ethical Wardrobe
Most of us have done something like this. Found a beautiful blouse or dress or camisole that we just absolutely love. Maybe it is fair trade, maybe it is made of lyocell or cupro or another sustainable fabric. Maybe it was even second-hand. We fell in love. Then we brought it home…
And it didn’t fit. Or we needed something else to go with it. Or it just doesn’t work with our current day-to-day.
The fashion industry survives on this kind of purchase. The one-off cardigan that doesn’t work with anything in your wardrobe, forcing you to pick up a new pair of pants. The cami without an appropriate bra. The dress that needs Spanx. All of these one-off items force a second purchase.
The fashion industry doesn’t want you to have a personal style. Why? Because if you have a personal style you are more conscious about what you buy. You become a purposeful shopping, avoiding buying things on a whim. You are intentional about what you wear and therefore what you buy. None of that is good for business.
A personal style is creative, confidence-building, and well-crafted to fit the life and body you currently have. And it helps you buy only what will work for you, minimizing fast fashion, overly trendy, excess clothing purchases. And limiting our purchases and then wearing what we do buy is essential to an ethical wardrobe.
Developing a personal style helps you create a meaningful wardrobe that you will wear. Find your style, and stick with it. Buy things that you will wear a lot, love a lot, and take great care of. Buy things that work with your other things so that they immediately have a place within your day-to-day wardrobe
It’s Ok To Follow Trends
I am not saying that the occasional whimsical or trendy piece that puts you a little out of your comfort zone is bad. I have a pair of navy blue disco pants that I absolutely love, and although they aren’t a day-to-day item, I will say that I have worn them way more often than I expected (even while 7 months pregnant!). I am saying that sticking to your personal style with the occasional trendy or novelty item is great, as long as most of your wardrobe isn’t novelty. Unless of course that is your personal style.
Every once in a while, a certain trend will really speak to us. I am currently so grateful that Birkenstock’s came back in style. If a particular trend does resonate, embrace it. Just don’t be blindly follow every single trend. This is not personal style, this is allowing your style to be dictated by what the fashion industry has said is stylish. And, it is completely unsustainable.
The Steps I am Using to Find My Personal Style:
Again.
After many years of shopping ethically and a few of being pregnant, postpartum, breastfeeding, and settling in to my new mom bod, I am working on finding my personal style all over again. I now work primarily at home, so in addition to my new body, I also have a new lifestyle to accommodate. Also, spit up and pee. Lots of spit up and pee. I know this time of my life is short-lived, so I am most certainly not adding much to my wardrobe right now. In a few years when my kids get a little neater (fingers crossed), I will revisit this. Personal style can (and probably should) evolve as life changes.
So, I am working on finding a style that works for me. My goals: easy maintenance, comfortable enough to wear to the park or while sitting on a floor, well-fitting and flattering, confidence boosting, and looks good. A tall order, I know.
I am currently:
1. Getting Inspiration
In order to do this, I am working on finding inspiration. What do I love these days? And will it work for me? I have created a “personal style” Pinterest board. Yep, I really have. And I am adding to it regularly. I am ruthlessly editing it to make sure I am not keeping things that won’t work for me. Heels are out, dresses that don’t move, out. Miniskirts are likely a thing of the past.
I hope that by paying attention and noticing trends (not fashion trends, trends on what I am pinning), I can be aware of a look that works for me.
2. Taking Stock
When I look at my wardrobe, It is painfully obvious that, in the past, I did not consider how I spend my time. I have lots of dresses (and not the easy, throw on and run a few errands kind), and not nearly enough plain, well-made t-shirts. I still have my work clothes from my more corporate days, and quite a few novelty items (not getting rid of those anytime soon!). I am also pretty guilty of hanging on to my “aspirational” jeans.
So, the second step in finding your personal style is to take stock, not of what you own (although that is important) but of how you spend your days and weeks. What are you actually doing? What do you want to wear to those events? If your wardrobe looks like you are about to attend a wedding every weekend, but you are really going to toddler birthday parties, your wardrobe is not reflective of your personal style.
Personal style is as much about taste as it is about occasions. And making purchases that match our lifestyle is much more ethical than buying a new dress for every wedding we go to and only wearing them once or twice. Filling your closet with things that work with your day to day, that you love, and that you will actually wear is a great step to building an ethical wardrobe.
3. Deciding What Works
In finding inspiration, I am also looking for what will actually work for me. This is as important as deciding what I love.
Styles that are kid-proof and comfortable, that flatter and will last. If you have kids, you know, you can rarely wear anything more than once without getting a stain, so things need to wash well.
But they also need to be flattering and confidence-boosting. I need to feel like I look good. Just because I can’t wear any dry-clean only blouses or pencil skirts most days, doesn’t mean I want to look anything less than my best.
Deciding what works for you is important. Just because you love something, doesn’t mean it is a good fit for your wardrobe. It is the design of the fashion industry to inspire us to want something so bad we buy it. And, they are doing a great job. But, in order to have a wardrobe that works and one that is ethical, we need to resist this.
It is important to find looks that you love, but also ones that work for your current life and size. Being realistic about your lifestyle is one of the most important things you can do to not only create a personal style that brings you joy and confidence but also to create an ethical wardrobe. It also helps save a little time in the morning and reduces a little stress if you’re looking through a closet filled with clothes that work (as opposed to those that are more cocktail-appropriate)
4. Think Style Not Fashion
Style and fashion are not the same.
Personal style needs to be less about trends and outfits and more about building a wardrobe that fits. Step away from what the fashion industry tells you is on trend and towards what works for you.
I have definitely confused the two of these, many, many, many times. But, developing a sense of personal style is about considering what is in style and then making sure that it works for you. It is about pulling from trends to find the ones that fit you and your life while ignoring most of them.
While your style will definitely evolve over time, it is important to make it yours. Fashion is not about you but your style is.
Resist the urge to read “do and don’t” lists or the ever-popular “15 things every woman in her thirties needs in her wardrobe.” None of these types of lists take into account your lifestyle, your body, or your climate (they almost all have coats on them, and I certainly don’t need a coat in Southern California).
Find a way to find inspiration without being overloaded by the shoulds and shouldn’ts of fashion. Learn to understand when a trend is just a trend or is something that will work for you in the long term.
It is also important to understand that it isn’t the clothes that make the style. How often do we find a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear? For me? Almost every day. This is the result of not having a personal style.
Developing a personal style is realizing that buying more clothes is rarely the answer. Figuring out how to buy better, fewer clothing and working with what we already own is personal style. Ignoring what the fashion industry tells you you “must” buy this season and determining what you need to look your best is style.
Having a solid sense of your personal style is one of the best things you can do to build an ethical wardrobe. By not following every trend or seasonal update, you will buy fewer, more classic things. And by being confident in what you love and wear well, you should buy better things that last. Both of these contribute to a more ethical wardrobe.
Now that you have considered developing a personal style, the next step is assessing what you already own in order to make it work for you, and building purposeful outfits that create confidence.
For more on how to build an ethical wardrobe when you don’t know where to begin, take a look at the list:
How to Build an Ethical Wardrobe When You Don’t Know Where to Begin
Step 3: Find your personal style, You’re here!
Step 4: Assess what you already have (and love)
Step 5: Consider a uniform or capsule wardrobe
Step 6: Clean out your closet responsibly