In some ways, it is easier to build an ethical wardrobe for kids. In others, it isn’t.
In building an ethical wardrobe for our kids, I do a few things well. We are truly minimalists. Our kids don’t have many clothes, and I am working to keep it that way. We also have outfitted them almost entirely in hand-me-downs, and are fortunate that we will likely be able to that for at least the next few years. But, there are other areas that I have not been great at.
But, sometimes, it is incredibly difficult for me to maintain my values when I shop for my kids. When it becomes difficult, more often than not, I end up compromising my values. I am not proud of this, and continue to work on it, but it happens.
I am in a hurry: the kids NEED shoes because they got a hole in the only pair that fit! Or, it’s picture day tomorrow?! Sh*t!
I cannot spend as much on the kids as I am willing to spend on myself. It is hard to justify more expensive, high-quality clothing when they inevitably spill, rip, destroy, and grow out of every single thing they wear. It sometimes doesn’t matter if it is well-made. So, I end up at Target. While it isn’t the worst place to shop for kids clothes, it certainly isn’t the best. Like I said…some things I do well, others, not as well.
But even though I am unwilling to spend the extra money on their clothes as I would my own, and have certainly made more allowances for them, I still work to maintain two tiny ethical wardrobes.
I also want to raise two conscious citizens who are aware of their impact on the planet and work to minimize it. Obviously, both are too young to understand what this means, but little by little I hope my values are passed down to them.
My Priorities
My goal for their wardrobes is to simply find a balance between ethics, finances, and time. Sometimes, the three work together and sometimes I am forced to make a choice between them.
As part of this, I want to teach my guys that we can’t (and even if we could, we don’t want to) buy everything we want. I want to teach them the difference between what we need and what we want (which I learned much later than I should have!). That an important part of our home life is keeping our space neat, without buying too much. And that we take care of what we already own.
The only way to raise conscious consumers is to be one. I try as hard as I can to avoid shopping for myself with them (less about ethical style and more about keeping the peace!), so I need to pass these values by shopping for them, with them.
Setting Your Own Priorities
Just like building your own ethical wardrobe, you need to set priorities with your kids’ clothes. If you have to budget (like most of us), sometimes buying ethically isn’t the easiest or most cost-effective way (sometimes it is though…).
Spend a little time determining what your values are and when you will allow yourself to compromise. Yes, I realize, that I often say, “we don’t compromise” on both values and style, but when it comes to kids’ clothes… well, compromise is exactly what I find myself doing. Sometimes on my values, often on style.
Set your own priorities, based on your personal budget, how much time you have to research and then wait for things, and when it is ok to compromise your values. For me, this varies a lot. I do my best to stick with my values most of the time. But, I am not always as organized as I’d like and find that we need something now. And, usually, I end up at Target (which is getting better. There are some recycled Cat & Jack options).
Once you’ve determined your priorities, cut yourself a little slack. Kids rip their pants, they lose sweatshirts, they seemingly grow out of their shoes overnight. Sometimes, you just have to pick something up. And if you can’t afford to spend a lot, you end up buying something that you don’t think is ethical enough. It’s ok. It has to be ok.
If you are anything like me, you just need to fix the problem. And then work a little harder to make the ethical choice later. However, there are a handful of ways to create an ethical wardrobe for kids.
How to create an ethical wardrobe for kids:
1. Be a Minimalist
The first step to create an ethical wardrobe for kids is to realize that they don’t need much. Be a minimalist when it comes to your kids clothes (even if you aren’t one with anything else!).
Each of my kids has one drawer that has all of the clothes that fit them right now. That is it. We have a three drawer dresser in their room that has one kid’s clothes in the bottom (all of them: pjs, shorts, pants, t-shirts, socks, undies, all of it!), the others in the middle drawer, and diaper and diaper accessories in the top. Yes, they are still small, so their clothes fit. I don’t see this as long-term, but for now each kid gets one drawer. If the drawer is full, they usually don’t need anything.
If the drawer is full, they have enough. This keeps my shopping impulses at bay (I do still struggle with over-buying, even after all these years), encourages me to return gifts for the next size up if we have too much now, and keeps me somewhat organized.
It also allows me to better plan for the things that they need, when they need them. It is immediately obvious that my big guy will need swimwear this spring and my little guy needs a few more pairs of pants.
Your kids will likely have a few favorite items. And then never wear the rest. The 80/20 principal is more like the 99/1 principal for kids. My little guy wears the same one size two small sweats with enormous holes in the knees every single chance he gets. If I could do laundry every day, he would wear them every day. He would not need any other pants. But, I can’t do laundry every day, and occasionally, we need to get a little more dressed up.
Kids don’t want dressy pants, they are sometimes fussy about how things feel and will refuse certain types of clothes (we went through a no zippers phase).
Minimize your kids wardrobes to a few staples, a few favorite items, and then maybe one or two “fancy” shirts and pants.
And if they receive fancy clothes for gifts, unless you absolutely love it, take it back and get something more practical. I wish I’d started this much earlier on. We have some gorgeous dress shirts that have been only worn three or four times, by both of them. I look forward to passing them along to another mom whose kids will only wear them once or twice.
I will say it again:
They need much less than we think they do!
And this also applies to toys, but that is another story.
2. Hand-me-downs
Oh my! How I love hand-me-downs. It was almost two years before I had to buy a single thing for my first little guy, between baby shower gifts and hand-me-downs. I am so lucky that I am one of the last of my friends to have kiddos and we have received everything from our crib and high chair to every pair of jeans my preschooler will need for at least another two years.
Let your friends and family know that you would love any hand-me-downs that they have, and if they don’t work for you, pass them along. If you have close friends with kids just a little bigger than yours, mention it to them. Some people assume that people don’t want their hand-me-downs.
They grow so fast that some of our hand-me-downs seem brand new, and some of the things we hand down are pretty close to it.
3. Shop Second-Hand
If you don’t have friends or family with kids a little bigger than yours, shop second-hand. Kids go through clothes so quickly, that you can find almost-new, and actually some brand-new clothing at second hand stores. I love our local Goodwill, but I also love Poshmark and Kidizen.I haven’t shopped for my kids at ThredUp, but that is another great online option. Also, most areas have one or two really great kids consignment shops.
And don’t forget your school may have a swap to look forward to each year. If not – why not start one up? We just got a great pair of brand-new shoes that fit perfectly in our school’s swap! For $1.
I try my hardest not to buy any dress clothes or special occasion clothes new. They wear them so infrequently that when available second-hand, they are almost always brand new.
4. Bring them with you.
Yes, it is inconvenient.
Every so often, I pick up something that I think is so adorable. And it never gets worn, not even once.
Now that my little one is three, I bring him with me when we shop for him. Yes, it is less convenient. But, if I buy something that he picks out, I know he will wear it. I also listen to him when he tells me to take it back. If he’s not going to wear it, it is completely unethical and unsustainable (even if it is an ethical brand). I sit with him when I shop for him online. He has opinions, so I need to listen to them. We often end up with something that I don’t love nearly as much, but he wears it. I think I probably have a lifetime of this…
5. Shop Ethical Brands.
If you can’t find what you are looking for from a second-hand store, or don’t have time to look (I have been there!), shop ethically. Take a look at my Big List of Ethical Clothing for an extensive list, but here are a few of my favorite ethical kid’s brands:
Primary. These are especially awesome because most of the clothes are gender neutral so you can pass down to any kid. Plus, they are on the less expensive side.
Monica & Andy. This is a splurge, but occasionally, I just want something special.
Rothy’s. Another one that is on the more expensive side. But these shoes are washable! And mine have worn so well that I thought I bought my little one two pairs (one for now and one to grow into). Hopefully, they’ll last long enough to become hand-me-downs, which almost never happens with shoes at our house! And, while I think they are designed for little girls, I think they are perfect for all kiddos.
Cat & Jack Repreve and other recycled polyester clothes. When I don’t have time to shop online or find a second-hand item, I end up at Target. I search out their Cat & Jack Repreve items. They are made from recycled plastic bottles. It sometimes requires a little searching (and label reading), but you can almost always find a handful of great, recycled clothes at Target. I get almost all of the kids’ swimwear here.
Mini Rodini. Mini Rodini is also a huge splurge. We have been gifted a few items from here and they are so fun. And ethical! They also have an outlet that is a little more affordable.
Tea Collection. This might be my favorite brand for little kids. It also seems like it is my dad’s favorite brand too, so we’ve been gifted quite a few things from them and LOVE them.
H&M Conscious Collection. For my own clothes, I skip H&M (even their conscious collection) because at the end of the day, it is fast fashion. But, kids clothes are by nature fast because of the way they grow. So, I get a few things at H&M. I love their Conscious Collection undies (they are so cute! and my little guy loves them).
L’ovedBaby. Aaaahhhh! These are my favorite jammies. They are just so cozy and cute. I keep trying to get one last wear out of them. Their basics are so wearable and versatile.
Beaming Baby. When we don’t use cloth diapers (on trips and at night), we use Beaming Baby diapers. They also have jammies and other ethical kids clothes. They are my husband’s favorites so we have a few jammies. And they are so cozy.
These are just a few of my favorites. There are many, many ethical kids brands out there, in fact here is a list of some more ethical and affordable kids clothes. So, if you have to shop new, just do a quick search and you should be able to find something that matches your budget, your style, and your ethics!
Don’t forget about the disposal of your kids’ clothes.
Just like your clothes, they will eventually have an end of life (much sooner than yours). Once they are ripped, grown out of, or otherwise no longer useful to your family, be sure to dispose of them in a sustainable and ethical way. Try to hand them down to another family, but if that isn’t an option, take a look here for the best ways to get rid of your used clothing.
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Yes, for me at least, it is not as easy to shop for kids clothes ethically. I just don’t have as much experience or patience for one. And time and money have to be considered (more than with my own clothing). But, it is possible for your kids to look awesome, for you to not over-spend, and to shop with your values at heart. Let me know if you have any other favorite ethical kids’ brands or any other tips on how to create an ethical wardrobe for kids.